Archive | Memories RSS feed for this section

The Twelve Desserts of Christmas

20 Dec

Since I’m Jewish, and one of my dearest friends is Baha’i, we recently had a difficult time remembering the lyrics to The Twelve Days of Christmas. How many lords are there? Who’s a-playing what? Why are there so many birds?

So naturally, we decided to write our own lyrics as an ode to a subject we are much more passionate about: desserts. You’re welcome, earth.


On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me –
A fresh doughnut from a bakeryyyyy!

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me –
Two turtle brownies
And a fresh doughnut from a bakeryyyyy!

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me –
Three French croissants
Two turtle brownies
And a fresh doughnut from a bakeryyyyy!

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me –
Four melting snow cones
Three French croissants
Two turtle brownies
And a fresh doughnut from a bakeryyyyy!

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me –
Fiiiiive gold-flaked caaaaakes!
Four melting snow cones
Three French croissants
Two turtle brownies
And a fresh doughnut from a bakeryyyyy!

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me –
Six pies a-baking
Fiiiiive gold-flaked caaaaakes!
Four melting snow cones
Three French croissants
Two turtle brownies
And a fresh doughnut from a bakeryyyyy!

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me –
Seven flans a-flaming
Six pies a-baking
Fiiiiive gold-flaked caaaaakes!
Four melting snow cones
Three French croissants
Two turtle brownies
And a fresh doughnut from a bakeryyyyy!

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me –
Eight milks a-shaking
Seven flans a-flaming
Six pies a-baking
Fiiiiive gold-flaked caaaaakes!
Four melting snow cones
Three French croissants
Two turtle brownies
And a fresh doughnut from a bakeryyyyy!

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me –
Nine cupcakes frosting
Eight milks a-shaking
Seven flans a-flaming
Six pies a-baking
Fiiiiive gold-flaked caaaaakes!
Four melting snow cones
Three French croissants
Two turtle brownies
And a fresh doughnut from a bakeryyyyy!

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me –
Ten trifles layered
Nine cupcakes frosting
Eight milks a-shaking
Seven flans a-flaming
Six pies a-baking
Fiiiiive gold-flaked caaaaakes!
Four melting snow cones
Three French croissants
Two turtle brownies
And a fresh doughnut from a bakeryyyyy!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me –
Eleven fondues dipping
Ten trifles layered
Nine cupcakes frosting
Eight milks a-shaking
Seven flans a-flaming
Six pies a-baking
Fiiiiive gold-flaked caaaaakes!
Four melting snow cones
Three French croissants
Two turtle brownies
And a fresh doughnut from a bakeryyyyy!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me –
Twelve bananas flambeing
Eleven fondues dipping
Ten trifles layered
Nine cupcakes frosting
Eight milks a-shaking
Seven flans a-flaming
Six pies a-baking
Fiiiiive gold-flaked caaaaakes!
Four melting snow cones
Three French croissants
Two turtle brownies
And a fresh doughnut from a bakeryyyyy!


Happy holidays, everyone!

doughnuts

Photo credit: leahwsprague

Celebrating The Only Holiday That Encourages Doughnuts

8 Dec

Happy first night of Hanukkah, everyone!

(I’ve been noticing all of my friends on Facebook posting “Happy Hanukkah” – which it is. But it’s just night one. If they want to be fully joyful in their wishing, they’re going to need to keep posting that every night for the coming week.)

I wish TV stations aired Hanukkah specials like they air Christmas specials. I don’t think you can flip through the guide at this time of year without coming across Charlie Brown’s Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life, or The Christmas Episode of your favorite TV shows.

But for one brief, glorious moment in the mid-90’s when I was growing up, there were Jewish characters on TV. Nothing can compare to the Rugrats Hanukkah episode and Lamb Chop’s Hanukkah.

We had both on VHS and we watched them over and over. I still remember the battles of the Maccababies fondly – and, of course, The 8 Nights of Hanukkah song (in terrible quality here). “On the first night of Hanukkah, what do we do?/We light the shammas and another candle too!

I’m not going on a rant about Needing More Diversity On Television. I actually love the Christmas season and all the fun shows, movies, and decorations that come with it. I’ve long since gotten used to not being in the majority and to being a casual observer of phrases like “separation of church and state” and “he’s not acting very Christian.”

It just perks me up when I hear about a Hanukkah special or The Hanukkah Episode. Y’know?